[Previous sermon: "Vayera - November 18, 2005"] [Next sermon: "Vayeshev - December 24, 2005"]

Thanksgiving 2005

Even if we never had any formal acting training, I bet we all followed the script in our Thanksgiving celebrations: gathering with loved ones then indulging in massive amounts of food including turkey, some kind of cranberry condiment and pumpkin dessert, watching either the Macy's giant balloon parade or football games or both, and then at some point falling asleep on the couch.

As an involved Jew, I have always seen Thanksgiving to be the secular, American equivalent of Sukkot: a holiday celebration marking the ingathering of the spring and summer harvests, in which the point is take time out to surround ourselves with all of the reminders of how blessed our households are --as a sort of preparation for the harsh winter ahead. If you think about it, the pioneer version of Thanksgiving barely resembles the way in which most of us celebrate it today. Back then, everything on the Thanksgiving table was homegrown: turkey, dressing and all whereas today, most of us just go to the store and buy a frozen cleaned turkey and a can of prepared cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie filling and we are set.

Ok, some of us do still pull out our mother's recipes and busily cook, but with many more conveniences than our predecessors. As far as Thanksgiving being a time we feel the need to prepare for winter, this is a relic of memory since most of us sleep comfortably in our heated homes, only suffering from the cold when we need to walk our dogs, or walk to our cars after work.

Nonetheless, I think Thanksgiving still retains a major component of its original flavor. Its still the sentimental holiday it always was- a time to take stock. In this day and age, I think it may be for the simple fact that many of us don't see our families at any other time of year. And for that we are thankful. Some people I know even add to the more generic Thanksgiving script turning off the game and gathering for a moment around the table before eating, wherein each person shares aloud all the things for which they are thankful. Sentimentality is not only welcomed but encouraged. But if you were like my family this year, we skipped this ritual and went right down to eating. Tonight, in the fullness of Shabbat joy, the spirit of gratitude that permeates the weekend, begs to be awakened, at least in me. So in this spirit I share with you some readings to do just that. To begin, let us gain some perspective on what there is to be thankful for:


"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of the 500 million people in the world who have.
If you can attend a temple meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than three billion people in the world who suffer from religious persecution.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over head, and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
If your parents are still alive and still married, you are rare - even in the United States.
If you hold up our head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
And if you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.

Moreover, if you read piece this on your computer [even before tonight,] you can count yourself doubly blessed in that someone was thinking of you and that there are over 1 million people in this country who cannot read at all."

Even if the statistics are not precise, I think you get the idea: we belong to the wealthiest of people on our planet. Strange then that many of us go through life not feeling very blessed. Instead we feel driven, incomplete, broken. It reminds me of this second piece about a person who dreamed she had an interview with God. The first question she posed was: "What surprises you most about humankind?" The answer was, "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.
That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived."
The second question she asked God was, "As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?"

God's response:
"To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. What they can do is to let themselves to be loved.
To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives.
To learn that is it not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on comparison basis.
To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them.
To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
To learn that there are persons who love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.
To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.
To learn that two people can look at the exact same thing and see it differently.
To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them and likes them anyway.

To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves.
And to learn that others will forget what you said, they will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel."

The next piece I will share with you is about love, for what could be more sentimental than that. And truly, if we are counting ourselves thankful for our wealth, love is the most valuable of all. On the holidays, I shared a few examples of what children say love is. Here are a few more which once again teach us of the ordinary ways we make those we love know it.

When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis, that is love.
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.

Love is when someone hurts you, and you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.
Love is what makes you smile when you are tired.
Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving to him to make sure the taste is OK.
When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more.
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, and then he wears it everyday.
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.
Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.
You really shouldn't say "I love you" unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.

The thing about being sentimental is that it feels nice but it doesn't necessarily translate into action. And we learn from Judaism that we are to take care not only of how we feel, but also what we do. Which is why I close this Shabbat with a rhyming rendition of Pirke Avot, the Ethics of our Fathers, composed by two religious school students from another Baltimore shul. Its sentimental, cute and also a poignant reminder of our sacred responsibilities all year long. Here goes:

Ethics are important, here's some you should know
memorize them quickly, so here we go!
One mitzvah follows another, all wrong deeds follow their own kind.
Be a good Samaritan, put no stumbling block before the blind.
If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
If I am only for myself what good will it be?
Say a little, but do a lot,
the work must be great, before the day is shot.
The more tzedakah, the more you get out of life.
Good manners precede prayer, no matter what the strife.
Pay your worker when the job is done,
Love your neighbor as your son.

Who is honored? One who honors others.
All Jews are responsible for one another.
Who is rich? One who likes what they own.
Acquire a friend for yourself, so you won't ever be alone.
God foresees everything though he gives free will to you,
Don't judge another till you know what they've been through.
Know from where you came, from where you are to go
From where you stand, these are the things you should always know.
No matter how hard they try, no other gods can compare,
To the greatness and power of the Big One upstairs.
The world continues because of study, service and deeds,
But it was established on trust, truth and peace.
Teshuvah, tefila, tzedakah are the three T's,
With these commandments, you can prevent evil decrees.
Who is wise? One who has the knowledge,
Who learned from everyone and goes to an Ivy-League college!
Love all creatures, for the Almighty created them all.
Respect them and love them, because that is the law.

Beloved is man because he was created in God's view,
Serve God with joy, for it is your duty as a Jew.
If not now, when? Will the job be done?
Work must be finished before you have fun...
Who is strong? One who controls his reactions,
Greet everyone with a smile, and you're guaranteed satisfaction.
Good manners come before Torah study like a shepherd before his sheep.
Always be polite and courteous, and only truth you shall speak.
So we've done our ethics poem for today is done,
We hope you liked hearing it - we think it was fun.

Rabbi Batsheva Meiri